Modal verbs

The day of Vicky's murder , I was working but I can remember that when I coming home I noticed that Peter was weird ; he was calm because normally we used to argue everyday .

He was asking for money to buy alcohol or cigar so I thought that something wrong may have happened but I did not know what to do : shall I ask him knowing his bad mood but I could not retain myself so I asked him if he is OK or not but he did not answer me which is quit bizarre .

Because normally he used to shout at me but that day everything was different and now I can see that he might have enjoyed torturing , raping and killing the poor girl as if he felt relieved I know it is insane but for him it is a kind of relief, a satisfaction .

Today , I feel alive but foremost free because I get rid of him I mean I can walk and enjoy a normal life knowing that he can't hurt me anymore even though I should have taken a stand and divorce him but It was not easy for me because I was scared of him .

Now I fell strong and can manage my life and I have to move on and afford a better life for my son .